Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A Blog: From one perfect mother to another

Ladies,

It has recently come to my attention that there are women in this wonderful World we live in that do not share the delights that us perfect mothers receive. I know, I know, it's a shame. But the thing that REALLY bother me about this is the fact that they BELITTLE us and act like we don't EXIST! They have all of these wonderful sayings like "All your children want is YOU" and "Houses are for self-expression, not first impressions". To this, I say, tsk tsk! How can you say such blasphemous things?!?!  Let me show you the article to which I am referring. You can click on it here.

I work VERY hard EVERY day to make sure that my husband and our three sons have everything they need to have a wonderful, succesful day. I'm sure you ladies agree with me!! Making things perfect is not as easy as it seems!!
 Let me give you an example of a typical day in our household:

2 am: I get up and open the window so I can stick my hand out. A bird lands on it and we have a duet.

2:15am: I take a shower while the birds, squirrels, does, and mice put my outfit together.

2:30am: I get dressed and perfectly coif my hair and apply my makeup.

3am: With my hair and makeup perfectly applied, I lay out my husband's clothes for work and my son's outfit for school. If there are ANY wrinkles that got there AFTER I ironed them the previous day, I re-iron them.

3:15 am: I go outside and water our beautiful lawn and wave to the paperboy as he throws my paper perfectly landing it on my porch.

3:30am: I re-apply any makeup that may have "sheened" off during my watering of the lawn.

4 am: I start to make breakfast. Breakfast consists of eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes, ham, steak, toast, orange juice, and milk.

6am: I wake my husband with a kiss and a song

6:05am: I wake the boys with a kiss and a song

6:10am: Serve breakfast to my husband and my sons and then sit with them until they're done. No I don't eat. Can't mess up my lipstick ;)

6:15am: Pack my husband's lunch fro work and my son's lunches for school.

6:30am: Kiss my husband Goodbye as he leaves for work and kiss my children goodbye as they leave for school on the school bus.

6:35am: I IMMEDIATLY start rinsing the dishes so I can put them in the dishwasher. Then I start cleaning the kitchen: shining the appliances, alphabetizing the spices, scrubbing the floors, organizing the refridgerator by color and and making sure the counters are spic and span.

7am: I clean the WHOLE house in the same manner as the kitchen.

10am: I re-apply makeup and make sure my hair is still perfectly coifed.

10:30am: I meet the ladies for brunch and bridge.

12:30pm: I make my daily trip to the grocery store and look down at all the mothers with screaming children.

1:30pm: I go to the gym and work off the eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes, ham, steak, toast, orange juice and milk. I make sure to do an extra 20 minutes of yoga due to brunch

3pm: I re-apply my makeup and put my poof-y dress back on just in time to greet my son's when they come home from school.

3:15pm: I serve them their "after school" meal and clean the kitchen when they are done.

4pm: I help them with their homework and talk to them about their day.

5pm: I start dinner which today consistes of fried chicken, baked potato, asparagus, and apple pie for dessert.

5:50pm: I re-apply my makeup and make sure my hair is STILL perfectly coifed.

5:55pm: I gather the paper, my husband's slippers, and make a martini

6pm: I greet my husband with a kiss as he comes through the door.

6:05pm: I serve dinner and we talk about everyone's day except for mine. I am never selfish to assume they'd want to hear about my boring day.

7pm: We settle into the living room for lively conversation and possibly some board games.

8pm: I tuck my children into bed and read them a bedtime story.

8:30pm: I get into bed with my husband and we sit side-by-side and read.

9:30pm: After he falls asleep, I clean the kitchen in the same manner I did after breakfast while preparing lunches for the following day

10:30pm: I clip coupons for the use the following day at the grocery store

11:30pm: I do laundry and iron all the clothes before putting them away in their rightful places.

12:30am: I do my nails and give myself a manicure

1:30am: I make flower soap to put in the bathroom so my family can have a fresh one for their shower in the morning

1:55am: I put on my pink silk pajamas and slip into bed next to my husband. Oh, I don't sleep, silly. I'm a robot!!!

1 comment:

  1. and you still have time to play WOW! Amazing :)

    ReplyDelete